numb.

To keep on writing about you would mean to acknowledge that I am hurt,
That I have the urge to smell your skin and to rub my nose against your special spot at the top of your neck. 
That I'd give up anything for endless chats about random staff, 
That I wouldn't mind to get stranded anywhere just with you,
That I miss our non-stop crazy passionate/ sauvage sex sessions, where pain is sweet and just a tiny part of all the pleasure we've shared and done to each other...


To keep on writing about you leaves me defenseless should you choose to attack me, but I now that you're gone for good. You've chosen another life in which I'm not included, at least not in the way I'd want to be.


You want me to be your friend. More accurately, you say you don't wanna lose me as a person.
But you've already made your choice, and it was not me. 


How can you expect me to keep on talking to you as if nothing had happened?
Would you say it's normal to just talk about half of the things that are going on in your life?

She obviously doesn't know you talked to me, would you put me in the position to hide me?

It is clear to me that I'm worth nothing to you. I've never been, and it aches so deeply.

I just wish for the strength to keep on moving.
I just wish I didn't need you so badly.


My friend, my boyfriend, my teacher in life, my love, you're gone.
I need to get this words out of my body, before they sink in so deeply.
I need to shout to the world that I can, because I do.
I do want to move on. To be free. To be myself again.

Stolen words...

I just read this, somewhere over the internet. It's not quite what I would've written, but it's kinda nice...


I share it with all of you who haven't read it yet.

Recién lei esto, en algún rincón de internet. No es exactamente lo que hubiera escrito, pero es simpático. 


Lo comparto con aquellos que no lo hayan leído todavía.


You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.”

para un patán de por ahí...

Tanto tiempo esperé para escribirte...
Tantas cosas para decir,

Empiezo a escribir en este blog por una ruptura, un cambio.
Por sentir un dolor tan inmenso que las únicas cosas que pueden remediarlo son el tiempo y la escritura.

Ahora se viene la vorágine de palabras: A-GA-RRA-TE

Tengo una bola de colores en mi garganta, que se anudan cada vez más. No puedo hablar, me agito.
Necesito desenmarañar ese quilombo de sensaciones, pensamientos a medias, recuerdos que me queman el cuerpo y la cabeza.

Acá viene la pregunta clave: Cuánto puede darte o quitarte una persona?

Esta persona sobre la que, principalmente, voy a empezar a escribir en el blog me dio muchísimo y me sacó aún más.

Soy un contorno, no tengo relleno. Soy una sombra que deambula sin poder tornarme en algo definido.
Intento despegarme de esta patética figura, volver a ser quien era: rubia y feliz.
Elegiste irte lejos en el corazón, pero te quedaste cerca para torturarme.

Quiero crecer, ser más y tu recuerdo no me deja.

Quiero que sepas que te amé, y mucho.